Chapter 12
HRH the Princess of Wales

The Pearl
Scientists agree that a pearl is the product of pain.
The oyster lies in its bed at the bottom of the ocean, it is invaded by a tiny parasite which succeeds in getting into the very heart of the oyster. All the healing resources rush to the site of the wound to bring about healingùthe scar or healed wound becomes a pearl.
Where there are no wounded oysters there are no pearls!
ùAnonymous

On the 5th of September 1989 I had a telephone call from Princess Diana, asking me if I would visit her. A mutual friend, Mara Berni, had told Diana about me, and that I was working as a healer. Next morning I took a green taxi to Kensington Palace and met the Princess, who was waiting for me in her dressing gown and bare feet. She was suffering physically, emotionally and spiritually. Her hands and feet were blue, and she presented a very tormented landscape. Diana was very fragile, very low in energy and in extreme need of affection. Her two boys were jewels.

Diana had felt rejected from a tender age. She was angry. She had so much love and compassion in her heart, and it seemed only her children were capable of recognizing it. She was a child at heart: Her first impulse was to please others. Later, this was to get her into difficulty. But her love was limitless and boundless, and she had no one to receive or give her love in the measure she needed to give and receive. The caring role satisfied her need only in part. She herself needed nurturing, spiritual guidance and love.

Diana was innocent of the world she was thrown into; she had no preparation, she was not at ease and never really relaxed. We grow wise by stages, and sometimes a whole lifetime is necessary to gain wisdom. Diana had an open heart and arms outstretched to help those in need. The public have been well-informed over the years about the various aspects of her personality and activities, but what I perceived was that the eyes that saw Diana were incapable of recognizing her essence. The essence of Diana was spiritual. She was a very old soul dressed in modern garb come back to teach us about love.

I took the Princess's medical history, balanced her chakras and introduced her to my combination of treatments. After about two weeks I shared with her a secret of my own: that I had spent twenty years in a convent and because of ill health finally had to ask His Holiness, Pope Paul VI, to leave the life of serving God "in His poor." This confession of mine was the spiritual foundation on which our friendship was built. I gave her many, many books, among them The Imitation of Christ. She was so grateful for the slightest gift and after her verbal thanks, a letter always followed.

For almost six and a half years, I saw Princess Diana weekly. I advised her to be patient, not to store up bitterness in her heart and guided her to study the different religions, introducing her to the philosophy of a spiritual teacherùOmraam Mikhael Aivanhov. I encouraged her to be herself, to follow the voice of her heart, to help the helpless, to mold her life on the life of Christ. Christ urges us to place our own light like a lighted candle in a candlestick where all may see it.

Visualization and meditation require no physical output, but the spiritual benefits are incalculable. The Princess made good progress and learned fast. I foresaw a spiritual mission for her from my very first visit.

Soon it became apparent that marriage counseling was not appropriate. Princess Diana often said she had great difficulty holding together relationships and friends. Even those who sincerely wanted to help her were cut off. I can understand her dilemma. The world sometimes seems very tired. Disillusion and discouragement cause fatigue (a Tower of Babel). People draw their main source of energy from their psychic natures. Happiness comes from within the soul. Diana was not happy. The gradual decline in creative self-expression is a sure symptom of deep-seated problems.

As Princess Diana's spiritual life grew stronger, her physical well-being also improved. She was not deranged, far from itùjust dying of thirst. She was as quick as lightning and seized every opportunity to make up for her poor results at school by learning about real life in the real world. She asked a lot of questions about medical conditions she did not understand.

After Prince William was born, Diana suffered from postnatal depression, and again after Prince Harry's birth. When I last met her there was still evidence that she had not completely recovered. Some women never get over postnatal depression. I had known a very sad case in France where a mother who had just one female child was scarred for life by postnatal trauma in spite of having a loving husband. In my experience this condition is not well understood. If only the union of the child and the mother could be blissful for the first six weeks and echo the happiness of the two people who conceive and have the child. In reality this time is often hell. The sudden dip in hormones throws the body's equilibrium out of balance. Often this is misinterpreted as a demand for attention, when in reality there is a great need for sweetness. Six weeks is the minimum recovery time a new mother needs. Without a supportive and understanding environment, lifelong traumas can result, leading to resentment and even hatred.

Diana was constantly searching for love, for appreciation. She could not focus her life without love, and her capacity for it was enormous. When her two boys went away to school, she was lonely and forlorn, returning to the palace alone. There was no partner to share the joys or sorrows of the day with, no arms to reach out and embrace her. Diana's judgment was impaired by this isolation. She had her flings and believed often in the wrong people. What a waste! Diana's great potential was ultimately poisoned because of the unfulfilled relationship with her husband, whom she loved: She was like a rudderless bark in a tempestuous sea. The hot pursuit of the media added to the torture.

During Princess Diana's visit to Calcutta in 1991, she wrote in a letter to me:

I picked up a little boy who was blind and deaf. I hugged him so tightly hoping he could feel my love and healing coming through. I gazed at this alarmingly large number of children who were without parental love and was somewhat reassured by the care the Sisters were showing. After an hour there, I was taken to the Mother's Hospice for the Dying and there was the greatest impact . . . hundreds of beds lined the room with such sick men and women. Some crying, some sleeping and some dyingùdying with dignity and with a carer beside them. I knew the individual was happy to be leaving this place under Mother Teresa's roofùprobably the first time in their lives that someone had cared for them . . .
The emotions running through the Hospice were very strong and the effect it had on me was how much I wanted and longed to be part of all this on a global scale.

All these aspirations were the voices from within, spurring Diana onùand thank God she enjoyed those spiritual flights while the paparazzi and media were recording what their poor blind eyes were seeing. Again we hear the voice of the Phariseesùaccusing Diana of exhibitionism, vanity and playing to the camera. It is not easy to care for the sick, the infected and the dying, and it requires real valor, real generosity, forgetfulness of self. Diana was born with Divine gifts, which no amount of learning can impart. She was her own person, strong and witty. Her spiritual life was very private, and she got her strength from prayer and spiritual reading. Flowers gave her immense happiness; her favorites were white freesias, roses and lilies. She had a particular distaste for orchids of any shape or color, which must have been a personal association (not a happy one). The last armful of orchids was received on her last holiday, days before that fatal crash.

Princess Diana could not bear the "kiss and tell, the cut and paste rogues" and took her revenge. The tabloids spread false reports, reaping vast amounts of money and poisoning people's lives. But she kept going despite the press. In secret she wept, but her smile and outstretched hands were ever ready to comfort those in need.

Touch is still the truest medium of expression. Hands are so important; they tell us much about a person. When two people shake hands, for example, they connect together a myriad chakra prints in their palms, which is why a friendly, heartfelt handshake can be a very uplifting healing experience. Diana could feel this energy in her hands and her touch linked with her own heart, and those of others. She couldn't help but take people in her arms.

In 1992, when the separation from Prince Charles was announced, Diana was desolate; and when the Anglican Church excluded her from their prayers, she was devastated, seeking refuge in helping others to heal.

Diana's compassion was genuine. I know that from first-hand experience of it, when facing Joseph's heart operation in August 1995. Earlier that month, Princess Diana had invited Joseph and myself to lunch. She was a superb hostess. After a delicious meal and while we were still at table, Joseph asked if he could sing a song for her. On receiving an "Of course, Joseph, please," he sang "Silent Worship" by Handel and later "La Paloma" (The Dove).

When he had finished Diana said, "Joseph, no one has ever sung for me like this at my table. I could hear your heart beating. You sing with such soul."
This is the letter I wrote on the 21st of August to that graceful human being:

Dearest Princess Diana,
Thank you for a most delicious lunch on August 14th.
"The heart has its reasons," to quote the Duchess of Windsor, and Joseph's heart was consoled to have your hands touch itùwill the press get hold of this new conquest?
Healing hands, loving hearts mend the broken heart of the Universe.
Love is being in harmony with one and allùGive and Forgive!
United in that Big Heart we say thanks and may God keep you in the palm of His Hand.
Love and prayers.
Always, Joseph and Oonagh Toffolo

On the 31st of August 1995 Joseph was operated on by Professor Sir Magdi Yacoub, assisted by Dr. Hasnat Khan, for a triple bypass and valvular repair. Twenty minutes after he arrived in intensive care, the Chinese nurse in charge noticed the drainage jars were full of blood. Joseph was having a massive hemorrhage. The cardiac arrest alarm pealed out its sinister message. Professor Yacoub had his scalpel in his hand, poised to operate on the next patient. He and the team rushed to Joseph's bedside and opened the chest wall. The bleeding was arrested, and the heart restarted.

I was at home, waiting for a call to say surgery was completed. None came, but at the moment of the crisis, I had a huge pain in my heart. Thank God an old friend, Sister Mairead, was with me.

Quickly, she got hold of the phone. Sister Mairead dialed. I was transfixed, unable to move. The person who took the call asked us to come immediately. Someone from the hospital had been trying to get in touch but had dialed the wrong digit. I blew out the candles and closed doors. We snatched our coats and ran out.
At the hospital, pandemonium reigned. The sister-in-charge was quite beside herself. We were put in a small waiting roomùwe prayedùand suddenly a nurse came in. "Are you Mrs. Zoffolo or something of that sound?" She took me into a ward full of men: There was no Joseph Toffolo. What was going to go wrong next? What were they doing with my beloved Joseph? Finally, a very nice anesthetist came with his assistant and told us what had happened, the critical state Joseph was inùand would I stay the night?

Later we were able to see Joseph in the Intensive Care Unit. He looked like death. I was allowed to sit by him and come and go as I pleased. That night I lay in the room previously assigned to Joseph, number 125. Sleep would not come, so I made several phone calls and then went to keep watch beside him in Intensive Care. I had phoned Princess Diana about 9 p.m. to put her in the picture. She told me she would have liked to come at once, but her boys were at home so she would have to come in the morning. Next day she came at about 10 a.m. I was waiting for her, and we had hardly spent five minutes together, when Dr. Khan and his assistant came in. I introduced the Princess.

Joseph's condition was very serious. The bleeding was still oozing from somewhere. Dr. Khan wanted my permission to take him back to the operating room to do an A to Z check on him. I looked at the intense and kind face of this man, whom I had seen so many times during the night. I took his hand and kissed it and said, "Please look after him. He is very precious to us!" Dr. Khan promised to come and give me a full report in room 125, as soon as he had finished operating. Princess Diana took me there and made me lie down. She ordered scrambled eggs and tea for me, while she herself took coffee. Joseph survived the third opening of the chest. Apparently, the hemorrhage was caused by faulty clips which had gone undetected, and Dr. Khan had to replace them with old-fashioned suturing.

As Joseph recovered, he claimed that Dr. Khan had a genius for making people feel good. I saw him as a kind and devoted surgeon, married to his professionùhis calling. He was so good to us, even before the Princess appeared on the scene. Princess Diana came every day to see Joseph. Her visits were a real morale boost to us. The doctors, nurses and staff were all edified by her presence. When Joseph regained consciousness, he had a succession of beautiful young women taking turns at his bedside. "The daughters" who had cared for me a few years earlier were now showering attention on Joseph. He likened himself to Wotan in Die Walkire with his seven daughters. Diana regularly took Joseph for walks in the corridor, bringing a smile to his face with her witty remarks, her love and unparalleled devotion.

However, very soon I started to receive cards and flowers from journalists, which caused me great distress. I told the hospital press office I did not want to give any statements or receive flowers. My chief concern was to protect Diana and to keep her out of the news, but of course that was not possible for long. Joseph did not suffer fools gladly, and he complained to me that his bedroom was often a playground of visitors and that it disturbed his peace and tranquility. Silence is an absolute necessity in healing sick patients, and Joseph's recovery was greatly hampered by the lack of it. The paparazzi were on the prowl day and night. In the end they made our lives infernal. Later they used every conceivable intrigue to gain entrance to our home.

Princess Diana became very interested in heart surgery and asked me if I could get permission for her to attend an operation so she could promote the cause of such surgery for children. I was able to arrange for that wish to be granted. She paid great attention to learning as much as she could about illness and its causes. She used her intelligence. The Sunday morning Joseph left the hospital, Diana was there to see us off. Her compassion for the sick and the dying had a boundless power, which I am sure healed many scarred souls.

At Joseph's homecoming, we discovered our telephone was being tapped and although we were unlisted, we were plagued by phone calls day and night. Journalists were constantly trying to gain entrance, blighting our lives. Laurence Tucker, our neighbor, tried hard to protect us and often ejected them from the house. But one intruder gained entrance under false pretenses and wrote the most horrible and malicious article which made it sound as if we had gone to the press, which was quite untrue. I was especially devastated because it was just before Christmas, the season of goodwill. Joseph was still fragile. Diana was very upset and offended. Princess Diana needed the help of the media to promote her charitable and humanitarian efforts. She was affected by the media's, often untrue, reports and sometimes cut herself off from the very people who were faithful to her. I wrote to her and tried to explain, but received no answer. We changed our telephone number and I took refuge in silence. Joseph was very badly affected and it delayed his recovery, while my own health was again undermined.

I stopped seeing patients. I nursed Joseph through his slow return to health. We both needed seclusion to heal ourselves, and I returned to my writings and my study.
Christ in his teachings said: "You cannot serve two masters." There is only real joy to be found in the infinite source and essence of Love, that is Christ. If we see nothing but Him, know no one but Him and hear nothing but Him, then we have reached infinite delights. But if we are caught in seeking the approval of others, we are wrestling with a finite, mortal and fickle element. If we get ourselves entangled in what others do and say and think, we lose our own identity. We lose our way. When Princess Diana was in the company of the sick and the dying and away from "the others," she was in touch with her real selfùher atman, the Divinity within her. She was at ease with herself.

Diana and I had an unusual friendship: We were united in a common search for truth. For both of us, the goal was the healing of and caring for humanity, especially mothers and babies. It was a spiritual questùa destiny. I had given Diana a set of Rosary beads during the first months of our getting to know each other; she was overjoyed and with hand on her heart promised to keep it with her for the rest of her life. We did not know how short that precious life was to be. I was told that on her deathbed in Paris, the Rosary beads were found in her handbag and entwined between her fingers, and that the hospital chaplain anointed her.
For myself, I shall always remember Princess Diana in her own words, those she wrote to me in 1992:

I have a deep feeling of mission to be fulfilled. It has set me apart from others for a long time now. I had my questions answered in Calcutta and I wish that it was possible to put my true feelings on to paper; but they run too deep and would frighten those around me with their intensity. I have an enormous amount inside me that I want to share with those who suffer or those who require light in their dark existences. The power comes from within and having responsibility gives us the power to make changes in our livesùmaybe it is time!
Amen.

¬2002. All rights reserved. Reprinted from The Voice of Silence by Oonagh Shanley-Toffolo. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, without the written permission of the publisher. Publisher: Health Communications, Inc., 3201 SW 15th Street, Deerfield Beach, FL 33442.