Sit up straight. Brush your teeth. Don’t talk to strangers. Smile.
Do unto others. The list goes on and on. Since we took our first
breath people have been telling us what to do, haven’t they? They
meant well, but in the grand scheme of things, most of the advice
people gave us growing up wasn’t very useful. That’s why I have a
saying in my office: “Less is better—if less is good to begin with.”
I don’t pretend to have all the answers, but I know what I know. In
business you have to dot your I’s, cross your T’s, admit your mistakes
and say thank you if you want to get anywhere. Nobody
wants to do business with someone who pays no attention to detail
and isn’t appreciative.
Stakeholders invest in people first and the idea second, as I’ve
said. This premise is sometimes lost on entrepreneurs seeking seed
capital. People invest in people based on their perceived worthiness.
I have seen wealthy individuals walk past a homeless person hold- ing out a cup. Why? Because they felt that nobody should be given
anything—and even more importantly, they didn’t perceive that
they’d be getting value in return.
Our world is caught up in the “you wash my hands, I’ll wash
yours” syndrome. Some people feel it’s foolish to give unless you’re
getting something in return. That’s not true giving. That’s conditional
giving. I learned early in my life that the real gift is in the giving.
Mom and Grandma taught me that.
•••
My extensive travels resulted in many fortuitous meetings with
business executives. I was suddenly thrust into a world known only
to the elite. I was picked up by limousines, taken to United Red
Carpet, American’s Admiralty or Delta’s Crown Room clubs, comfortable
private lounges complete with VIP check-in and amenities.
I must have been a sight, walking leisurely to my gate in a suit and
tie and carrying a Wall Street Journal or a Japanese self-help book. I
was also interesting fodder for the other first-class passengers. A
man once told me on the way to New York, “Can’t say I see many
passengers like you up here.” I remembered wondering what he
meant by that. Was he referring to my age, race or both?
Eventually I was somewhat adopted by the flight attendants.
They became my surrogate airline mothers who would look after
me by waiting with me at the gate until the host sponsor representative
met me. They would call the hotel to make sure I was
checked in properly. Often, after the plane crew checked into their
hotel rooms for their overnight stay, they would appear in my audience
in uniform.
Life was good. I was seeing the world, meeting myriad people
from all walks of life and more good news was just around the corner.
I became fond of the nightly business report on the local PBS
stationsin the hotel rooms. This heightened my interest in the stock
market, investing, venture capital and technology. But mostly I
started studying the meals I was served on the planes. I got the
strong urge to try my hand at preparing some of the unique meals
I was served in-flight and in the hotel. I made myself feel at home
even when I was on the road. Instead of maid service I wanted to
help clean the dishes and take the trash out, and I asked the room
service attendants about the
ingredients in the meals they
delivered to me. I also learned the
importance of physical and mental
fitness on the road, where it
can sometimes be lonely.
One of my favorite people is
Emmanuel Steward, the famous
boxing trainer Andre had introduced to me a while back. He taught
me the importance of developing my body along with my mind. I
have a daily training routine, which is never broken unless I’m ill. I
do a minimum of one hundred to five hundred push-ups a day. My
workout time is more than me building my physical body. It is also
a time for me to regroup and get centered.
Being on the road gave me a chance to reflect on my life, the past
and my future. My family was at a different crossroads at this time.
I was traveling on my own across the country with little need for an
escort. I was suddenly a breadwinner for the family. Since I still
wasn’t at the age where I could sign business documents, Andre
would deposit my earnings, and I’d handle the management of my
income and expenses. Grandma was the bookkeeper who’d pay for
household and entertainment expenses. I can’t tell you how good it
felt to be able to provide for the two women who made me what I
am today.
In the span of a few years, my life had done a complete 360.
I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was becoming my mother. I
know you’re more accustomed to hearing women saying that about
their moms, but it was true. I was becoming Mom. I was spending
more time in the air than I was at home with my family. And if I
wasn’t on a plane, I was on the telephone making a deal. I had
become accustomed to a certain lifestyle, but my travels left little
time for me to bond with my family, who were all doing their own
things.
Andre was setting up in Las Vegas, which demanded a lot of his
time because he had to work within several time zones in the U.K.
or Japan. Kiki had started studying to become a certified fitness
trainer. My brother Jonathan had gone to Chicago, and Alex was
still in Phoenix with Grandma.
Slowly but surely Mom gained her strength back. I sensed she
would never be able to run as hard and fast as she used to. She was
like a former heavyweight boxer. She still had that fire in her belly,
which meant you always had to keep a watchful eye on her. You just
knew that one day she’d walk into the room and announce her
comeback, whether it compromised her health or not. Even on my
travels, I called her several times a day.
I was enjoying my newfound freedom and earning power, but I
missed my family. What kept me going was a liberal adaptation of
an Aesop fable.
It seems that a fox spotted a rabbit and started chasing him
around a field. The fox did everything in his power to track the rabbit
but could never seem to catch him. The fox barked, thinking he
could scare the rabbit into submission. He growled, thinking that
maybe the rabbit would surrender. Finally, the rabbit was gone.
Two people were watching the entire pursuit. One of the men
shook his head in wonder. Then he said to his friend, “I wonder
why the fox didn’t catch him?” His friend looked out into the distance
as the rabbit disappeared from sight. “The fox,” he said, “was
chasing and running for fun. The rabbit was running for his life.”
I’m the rabbit in this fable. I started running to provide for the
health and financial well-being of my family at thirteen years old. I
was running for my life. |