Snake in My Face
The gentle breeze that usually filled our valley had abandoned us. I knew the day would soon be intolerably hot. If I wanted to go for a morning hike I had to leave immediately. I slugged down almost a liter of water, grabbed a handful of dried fruit from the tent, and wandered up the hill that rose behind our camp. I was eager to reach the crest and see what lay beyond. Was there a grand vista or perhaps an undiscovered creek full of ancient palms? But the top of the hill never came, beyond each rise was yet another hill. I kept climbing and climbing and was annoyed when the pain in my bladder begged me to stop and let go of the water I'd drunk earlier.
I pulled my frayed denim shorts down around my thighs and squatted barefoot to pee. Oh man, the simple pleasures people miss; warm urine pooled around my toes, and warm air caressed my bare arms and legs. Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye I saw something move. A six-foot, red-bellied black snake raced toward my feet and the urine streaming from between my legs. I gasped, pulled back. Startled, the snake rose to strike position, twelve inches from my face. With head and neck flattened, he lashed out three times in a false strike within two inches of my nose. I froze. Oh God, I'm still alive. His fangs didn't snag my face. Robin, stay calm. Don't move a muscle. If he bites, you could be paralyzed.
Head to head, eye to eye, I didn't dare breathe; my moist breath might provoke a serious strike. Inches from my face, my neck, it would be the worst place for venom to enter my body, immediate envenomization. I could see each individual scale on his head. His rapidly throbbing throat stretched so tautly it appeared distorted. Two glasslike black eyes bulged with fear and stared straight into mine. His tongue flicked between black scaly lips to taste the air. Can he taste my fear? I have to let him know I'm no threat. How do I communicate that to the snake's tongue? His eyes are almost popping out of his head. Boy, I know how he feels. Wait a minute; he's more terrified than me.
When I realized this, I knew that the way to reassure him was to act and feel as if his presence were almost irrelevant to me, as if I were a tree or a rock. Surprisingly, that was not as hard as you might think. I knew he'd either bite or he wouldn't, but if I flailed about or even moved he'd most likely strike. Since we were already nose to nose I decided the best course was to calm myself in earnest by pretending I faced only an earthworm and had nothing to fear. Something shifted in me and let go. I actually began to relax. Time slipped into slow motion. Time within time, face-to-face, I started to comprehend this maligned creature. I began to think and not merely react. Gradually, compassion calmed my racing heart, and within that calm I heard the snake's thoughts.
'I don't know who you are. I'm terrified. Confused. I don't want to harm you. You just happened to be on the path of my flight—though I will protect myself, fight for my life if I have to. You don't seem ready to attack. You're too big to eat. You're much bigger than I am and could easily crush me. Aaah, so you hadn't thought of that. You don't realize your own strength, do you? Not that I fear that strength. So, you're afraid too. What'll you do with your fear? Strike out? Kill me? I'd like to pass unharmed. Will you let me do that? I don't dare take my eyes from your face. You might hurt me. I must remain in strike readiness to protect myself. If you look away and allow me to escape I won't harm you. Can I trust you? Can you trust me? We've reached an impasse.'
While the snake directed his thoughts into my consciousness, I heard a lizard dart among the leaves, a fly zip past my right ear. A kookaburra in a distant tree gave a brief laugh; the midday sun sweltered too hot for anything more raucous.
The snake flicked his tongue.
I blinked.
Swallowed.
Waited.
All of a sudden, I felt more awareness than I'd ever experienced. I was taken aback that I could feel such crisp clarity. More surprising, I immediately had a memory I didn't know I could recall, a memory of being connected to all other life forms, a time when all beings communicated with each other, awareness-to-awareness.
The snake waited, motionless.
Thoughts drifted from my mind. With the ease of a child, I talked with Red-belly, thought-to-thought.
'Okay, Red-belly, I hear you. One of us has gotta be vulnerable. I'll take the risk. I need to test my courage. And you're right; I'm heaps larger than you. I must appear huge. Since I've intruded into your space, I'll retreat first. You can trust me. Please let me trust you. I don't wanna become paralyzed from your bite. I'll slowly turn my head away so you won't see my eyes, and my eyes won't see where you're going. I've no interest in following you. You're safe. Just don't bite me. Okay? Sloooowly, I'm turning my head and eyes away from your space. See? I'm completely at your mercy. Don't harm me. You're free to leave. I won't hurt you.'
With my head turned side on, the snake took one huge black lunge and whipped half of his six-foot length up and over the rest of his body and vanished into the rainforest faster than my peripheral vision could follow.
I collapsed, grinning to the urine-soaked ground. I felt elated. In the face of potential death, I discovered a courage I didn't know I possessed.
Tested and passed, I began my initiation into the mysteries of the Australian rainforest. There were many more tests. Each one I embraced with loving spirit and open arms. Daily the whisper of this ancient rainforest beckoned me to enter and discover life's most intimate secrets. In time I shed all of my clothes along with my fear, and walked naked into the jungle. |
